we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Pooping to opera.
Randomize