on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
