This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
