I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
false alarm. still invincible.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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