Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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