I bet he comes in French.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize