Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
