yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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