Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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