Sponge bath it is.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize