I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
