I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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