the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Randomize
