alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
