Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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