I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
