your parents love me but you hate me
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
