she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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