Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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