I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm really into asian looking animals
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
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