Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
