i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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