dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
