Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
