**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
