I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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