i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
