Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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