Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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