Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
