i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize