i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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