This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
