I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Send help, water and tortillas.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
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