id be glad to
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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