You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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