oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
the liver wants what the liver wants
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
