I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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