just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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