living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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