I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
