Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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