Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i think i have two assholes
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
