I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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