I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
