It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
