this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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