Your tits are I can't wait for
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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