Those balls look pretty dangerous.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
