you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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