Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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