The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
