Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize