So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
