Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
