Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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