Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
