you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Randomize
