Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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