hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Can Purell be used as lube?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Randomize
