ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm at about main and main street
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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