whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize