Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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