just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize