i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
