I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
