I don't think brook has ever known best
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
