I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
