Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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