What a fucking waste of an outfit
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
My ass is underappreciated
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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