i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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